Rev. Stewart Speaks!
By the Rev. Lakeya Stewart
Over the last couple of weeks, we have discussed the biblical marital roles of husband and wives. Yes, each person has a role to play, however, the ultimate goal should be to function as one. Jesus said to the Pharisees in Matthew 19:6, “Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh, What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.”
Becoming “one flesh” is more than an intimate act. It is a spiritual connection that joins individuals in an almost supernatural sense. It is reserved for married couples only because of its power.
So… becoming one is really powerful. Let me explain: In previous articles, we have discussed submission in marriage as well as the importance of loving and respecting spouses. Some have said the articles are gender specific, but I argue that submission, love and respect should all be mutual in a marriage. That is to say, both husband and wives should submit to each other, should respect their spouse, and should love their spouse. Doing these things will help spouses better understand the position their counterparts are taking in their marriage. To sum up the importance of love, and respect are in marriage, Dr. Emerson Eggerichs in the book Love and Respect: The Love She Most Desires, The Respect He Desperately Needs, writes, “How the need for love and the need for respect play off of one another in a marriage has everything to do with the kind of marriage you will have.” (Eggerichs page 15)
For a moment, let us look at the roles and responsibilities of a Christian. As believers, not just married individuals, Paul tells us in Philippians 2:3, “Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself.” If we were to always put the interest of others before our own, especially in marriage, then there would always exist a continuum of submission. We would desire to serve others and others would always try to serve us. But, the problem with this is we as humans are prideful and believe we are entitled to being served. This often dictates what response we will give to others If we are taking the “low-road” and are always seeking ways to esteem others higher than ourselves, we will soon take on the servants heart of Jesus Christ.
In fact, isn’t that what love is? 1 Corinthians 13 says that love doesn’t seek its own, is not puffed up, suffers long, does not envy, does not parade itself, does not behave rudely, is not provoked, thinks no evil…and the list goes on. Basically, love is the power source that will sustain relationships whether they are familial, friendships or spousal in nature.
Taking the position of humble and unified servant in marriage is Christ-like. Jesus and God were one in scripture. John 10:30 says, “I am my Father are one.” Jesus ultimately yielded his will to God’s will when he allowed himself to die on the cross. In marriage we must be willing to allow our old selves to die in order for the will of God to be fulfilled in the marriage. As we have seen over the last few weeks, God has purpose and intentions for a Holy marriage. We as believers must strive to put God first in our lives and specifically in our marriage. Without God, many marriages will indeed fail, but with God, all things are possible.
—Rev. Lakeya Stewart