Daddy You’re Right Here

| January 4, 2014

By Genevieve Epps
Special to Frost Illustrated

As the days pass I long for your presence I close my eyes and think about your face, and there you are right there looking back at me. To the world your eyes look weak but to me how clear and strong they are and in your eyes I see a lifetime of love, and in that moment, that very moment I’m not lonely anymore your presence is right here daddy in my heart, my mind, yes I feel your presence.

I close my eyes and remember; the softness of your hands, I  feel them nestled in mine, the wisdom of yours hands, each wrinkle connected to another like rivers and oceans’ that helped me journey through life, each wrinkle and ridge of age reminding me of the hills and valleys daddy that you helped me climb. I slowly run my fingers across your veins raised weak veins each vein in place right where it is supposed to be reminding me daddy that we are all right where we are supposed to be. I hold your hand daddy this last time, this very last time and I feel the delicate bones of age….. (pause)  all of a sudden I can smile. I smile as I think back to a time when those hands those strong hands held my hand as a little girl, I remember you walking me to school so many, many years ago,  I remember those hands those strong hands holding many doors for me as you walked me through the process of independence, I remember those hands those gifting hands forever giving, unconditionally giving, I remember those hands holding on to me never letting go until I was strong enough to let go. Oh No, my heart! It hurts, I’m sad, empty, empty, I hurt, my heart it hurts, I want to touch you daddy, I want to hold your hand just one more time but I can’t.

I remember the transition… from you holding me up daddy to me holding you up and what a breathtaking, incredible opportunity and blessing to be chosen for that transition. I remember holding your hand as we leaned on each other, supported each other with dignity and strength, it was important daddy that you knew you were not alone, I hope you knew that you were not alone, I pray that you knew you were NEVER lone all the way to the end through your transition to heaven you were not alone. We held each others hand and when we let go although there were tears of sorrow because I had to let go, there were tears of joy because I had you as my daddy. I love you daddy and I know you hear me.

©2013 Genevieve Epps, all rights reserved.

 

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Category: Local

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Frost Illustrated is Fort Wayne's oldest weekly newspaper. Your Independent Voice in the Community, featuring news & views of African Americans since 1968.

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