By Gwendolyn Baines
Dear Gwendolyn: I am engaged to get married in six months. My fiancé and I have dated for six years. Last summer, we broke up and we both started dating someone else. This is the problem: For five years, his mother acted like she just adored me. During our breakup, she seems to now favor the new lady in her son’s life. However, my fiancé came back to me confessing he loves me. He says the entire time we parted his mind was on me and not the other lady.
Just before our breakup I discovered I was pregnant. We have a nine-month-old baby boy. His mother has nothing to do with our son. Gwendolyn, this is the horror of it all. She is telling her son not to marry me until he knows the baby is his. I told my fiancé absolutely no to the DNA test. It’s wrong for a man to request testing. Right?
Dear Alice: Wrong! If men who have been married for years would request a DNA test, too many would be totally surprised when they would hear: “You are not the father.” Let me tell you this: No mother during this new age will encourage a son to marry a woman who refuses testing. Why are you refusing the test? You must have a feeling that your fiancé is not the father of your son. Don’t be afraid. If your fiancé loves you, then he will love you even if the test proves him not to be the dad. If that happens, your son’s first words would be “mom,” “dad,” but not—grandma.
Do you have a son or grandson age 10-17? Help him to choose college not jail.
Order DECISIONS In The Life Of A Growing Male Youth. Send $14.95 + $4 S/H to: Nevada Publishing Co., P. O. Box 10066, Raleigh, NC 27605-0066. Have a problem, Email Gwendolyn at: firstname.lastname@example.org or write to her at address above (to receive a reply, send a self-addressed stamped envelope.)
This article originally appeared in our April 17, 2013 issue.